F-35D+ to Feature Titanium Bathtub and GAU-8 Avenger

The Tactical Air Network

Responding to the complaints of thousands of Facebook users on various Save The Hog and Long Live the A-10 pages, engineers have redeveloped the F-35D+ to include a titanium bathtub around the cockpit, at the cost of the aircraft’s onboard electronic warfare suite, as well as some of its advanced intelligence/surveillance/tracking systems. “We’re not sure why titanium bathtubs are now a selling point on aircraft that fly CAS missions, especially since they all loiter between 10,000 to 15,000 feet, out of the range of anti-aircraft guns… but hell, if it’ll shut those keyboard generals up, we’ll do it. Anything to keep all of that spam off our Facebook page’s comment section.” said Frank Philips, a program engineer involved with the F-35D+

Additionally, heeding the advice of the Facebook commenters, who presumably have aeronautical/aerospace engineering experience as well as an intimate understanding of the mechanics and specifics of close air support…

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You may fire when ready, Gridley

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